ON KNOWING THE CURRENT DARLING - a poem of mine

I knew you when you wrote bad poetry

and didn’t know which fork to use

and wore plaid, flannel shirts

with a slide rule protruding from your pocket.

On the cusp of your currency

we met again

and rushed to share forty years of life

words didn’t come fast enough

as we sought each other’s joys, pains

and marveled at the chance to share once more

our piebald dreams.

Now your face is on every screen

and your words articulate our beliefs

Contenders for public office

proudly wield your opinions

as their implements of campaign war.

People come to me for the favor

of an introduction

desiring to share in celebrity’s hierarchy,

and so, remembering our friendship

I give them the speckled help they seek.

But you have moved on

rushing to interpret today’s breaking news and

guarded by rough crews paid to fend off the unimportant –

those whose claim is old and not for profit –

unmindful that strobe-lit fame may quickly fade.

But old friends still remember fondly

those earlier, golden times

when you wrote bad poetry

and didn’t know which fork to use.

DC Residents: Are We Subjects or Citizens? A Draft Referendum

I think it is shameful that we in the District of Columbia are treated as subjects rather than as citizens.When I read in the Declaration of Independence that, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men. deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed," I strongly question the assumption that we residents of the District have given our consent to be treated like subjects.

As quoted, the Declaration of Independence specifically says that government's power is just when it is derived by the consent of the governed. There is no part of the Declaration of Independence more profound, fellow Americans. Our Constitution and all our laws, everything that we hold dear as Americans, all depend on the founding block of the Declaration of Independence. Its words cannot be overlooked. If we in the District are not permitted the same rights as other citizens – and representation has to be the most basic right in a democracy – then we cannot function as full citizens. Where does it say we have given our consent to a form of government under which we struggle without voting representation?

I say we have not consented to our lack of representation, and propose that we undertake a referendum to determine whether that lack of representation is acceptable to us. Two bloody wars - the American Revolution and the Civil War - and several Constitutionalamendments should have settled the overarching question of equality once and for all. But it didn't for us. Is it acceptable to be treated as subjects, not citizens? I think not, and believe that our founding document, the Declaration of Independence speaks on our behalf to this very point. Let us hold a public and official referendum to make clear that we do not consent to being treated unequally. This would give us the basis to demand that our full measure of rights be secured - as citizens of a state. Nothing less. God bless the Declaration of Independence, for it will make our case.

If we get a referendum on consent on the 2012 ballot, it would likely considerably increase turnout at our polls, and would certainly get plenty of national media coverage. And that is what we need. One of the reasons we haven’t been able to get action on voting representation is because most citizens are utterly unaware that we don’t already have it. They are astonished to learn this is not the case, and are angry when they hear of it. (Some actually believe we pay no federal taxes, like Puerto Rico, and assume that is why we don’t have voting representation.) In any case, they are taken aback that Congress can and does change whatever it wants in our municipal budget, paid for by our hard-earned local DC tax money, no matter what we may want to do with it.They know that Congress could not do this elsewhere in the US, and agree that Congress should not be able to do this to us. Finally, other citizens get especially angry when District residents point out that THEIR elected representatives are spending an awful lot of time meddling in our affairs when their time could be better employed working on their own constituents’ problems. So there’s a lot of public education that needs to be done.

One of the most effective ways to educate the public nationwide on this issue would be through the publicity a referendum would engender. There are many ways that such a referendum could be worded; here’s a draft.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men. deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."

Do you believe that American democracy is founded on the principles outlined above in the Declaration of Independence? Yes No

As a US citizen, do you think that in fact you are governed differently than citizens living in states? Yes No

Do you think that you are being denied rights that other citizens enjoy, like voting representation in the House of Representatives, two voting US Senators, and statehood? Yes No

Do you think that DC citizens have ever given their consent to this arrangement – that is, to NOT having voting representation in the House of Representatives, two voting US Senators and statehood? Yes No

Do you hereby give your consent to being governed without voting participation by representatives you have elected to the legislative branch of national government? Yes No

Finally, would you give up these three rights in return for the permanent elimination of federal taxes? Yes No

BRAVO TO CITY OFFICIALS ARRESTED FOR SUPPORTING DEMOCRACY

Huzzah for those who got arrested! I'm sorry I couldn't be there; if they do it again, and I hope they will, I'll join them. I'm sic and tired of being a subject, not a citizen, and that's exactly what we are. Some really bad days, I feel like an indentured servant!

I've lived in Mexico City, where they had no trouble with voting representation for the Distrito Federal. Other capitals in the civilized world (such as it is), also and customarily have full representation. So the idea itself is not unheard of nor scandalous; folks, it's the denial that is.

I believe there are two kinds of provisions within the Constitution and the other founding documents (specifically the Declaration of Independence, in this case) – ones that deal with fundamental rights, and ot hers that are technical and administrative in nature. The second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence says it all, and should be honored as expressing the fundamental basis for the founding of our nation,"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed...But when a long train of abuses and usurpations invariably pursuing the same Object evinces a design to reduce the under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty to throw off such Government and to provide new guards for their future Security."

Ladies and gentlemen, the Declaration of Independence says it all. Are we to ignore its words?

I think not. We are being governed without our consent, and we are clearly suffering a long train of abuses and usurpations on the hands of those who are governing us without our consent. I think it is long overdue that we seek an orderly way to throw off such government and to provide guards for our (present and) future security. What could be more fundamental to the definition of democracy then that it derives its just powers from the consent of the governed? We have not been asked and we have not given our consent – that is clear and not subject to denial. Let a Federal District be set up without population, and give the rest of the District to its residents as a State! Nothing less meets the test of requiring a governing body to derive its just powers from the consent of the governed, and nothing less should be tolerated. So be it.

A Rant on Bureaucracy and Citizen Expectations; A Record Wait

The western entrance to the alley behind my house has just been re-opened after having been closed since October. Yes, October. What happened, and what took them nearly a half a year to fix? Well, it seems that they managed to either find or break a leaking pipe while "fixing" the road at which the alley debouches. This was a hitherto-unknown 48" pipe. We are not talking about a tiny little pipe here, folks.

It's hard to believe that a pipe of such magnitude could be unknown to WASA. Surely, they should have known about it, given that it must be a working pipe. We know that, of course, because it was leaking. Okay, so they broke an unknown, working 48'' pipe. Not starting off well. It doesn't get better.

Why didn't they fix it right away? They said there was no money in the budget. Because this isn't exactly the first time that a hitherto-unknown pipe has been broken while a DC street is being fixed (uh oh, I used the wrong word - "fixed" doesn't seem to be the operating reality here) let's say "worked on", wouldn't they place a certain amount in the budget for, let's call them "contingencies"? Wouldn't that be good planning? I guess not.

And given that they had stalled working on it since last October, wouldn't you think that people in the community, possibly people with rear access to their dwelling places on that very alley might have noticed with some displeasure that the situation wasn't getting fixed and demanded a meeting to find out why and to call for swift action? It's a no-brainer that the surest way to encourage severel outrage on the part of an affected community is to ignore it.

In fact, more than four months after the alley was closed, a meeting finally took place and WASA's top brass came. Does it matter that the top brass didn't seem to know the area to begin with, and then compounded this error by putting up an incorrect slide which indicated that "everything" had already been done between Mass. Avenue and S Street? This writer and the rest of the audience thought so. Theoretically, "everything" would include the alley entrance, but that of course, was the reason for the meeting. The audience, wasn't pleased, as a reader might well imagine. WASA finally brought the meeting to a close by promising that it would fix the problem and re-open the alley entrance within two weeks.

At the very end of two weeks, the alley re-opened to great rejoicing. The rejoicing was destined to last only a hot moment, unfortunately.

We had been tricked once again! Within the WEEK , the very area where the alley opened onto 18th and New Hampshire is ONCE MORE is being torn up - this time for electrical conduit problems. At the meeting with WASA, the residents ask if any work by any road-ripping entity might happen any time soon that would cause the area to be torn up once again ? Of course they did. And WASA's answer - of course - was no. It took less than a week for WASA's answer to be nullified once again, and for the orange bumpers and jackhammers to reappear. They're still there.

Is there ANYONE competent out there guarding our streets? Apparently, the correct answer to this not-so-difficult question is - of course not.

I REMEMBER THE SOON-TO-BE DEMOLISHED GREAT GATSBY HOUSE WELL

I was so sorry to read that the Great Gatsby House in Sands Point, Long Island, is going to be torn down. You see, I know that house well. I grew up in the Village of Sands Point, a child of the 40s and 50s there. At that time, Sands Point was dotted with enormous older mansions, some of which were even then closed , due to the cost of heating and the spiraling rise of real estate values.

As kids, we used to rise our bikes down the many bridle paths that crisscrossed the woods behind the mansions. We would find an unlocked window, climb in and play Hide and Go Seek. We would post one child to latch out for police cars. If he spotted any, his job was to shout, "Cheese it, the cops!" We would dash to our bikes and pedal swiftly down the bridle paths into the woods, where a police car couldn't follow I didn't care that if the police had caught up with us, my father – who was both the Mayor of Sands Point and as a result also the Police Chief – would certainly have been notified, and all hell would have broken loose at home. We had such fun, it was worth the risk! In fact, we were respectful of the Gatsby mansion and the other mansions we played Hide and Go Seek in. No trash and no damage. Only memories.

I can't imagine today that children would be given the hours of unrestricted freedom that we enjoyed and considered to be our right as kids. It is a great shame that all these links to a storied past are being destroyed.. (Too bad Jackie Kennedy isn't with us today to lead a push to save them. For the most part, the old mansions remain only in the memories of people my age and older, and we are getting fewer, of course. Soon there will be no physical signs that these glorious buildings ever existed and that glamorous parties once took place there.) Only the book will remain, unfortunately

That long-gone life is so different from the life I have lived for many years in DC that it seems entirely alien. Tonight, my son-in-law, an architect in the US Navy, has been ordered to return to Cairo to restart work to expand a US Navy-supported research hospital on tropical diseases. He will leave behind my 5-month old granddaughter and his wife, my daughter Alisoun. Now that's today's reality!

I want to report that "Mr. Thief" pleaded guilty today to "unlawful entry" at 4:30 AM one early morning in December into a house the Meehan family has been renovating in the Mt. Vernon Square area . He and an accomplice were placing our expensive carpenter tools in a bag when the police dogs found Mr. Thief hiding - his accomplice managed to get away.

I listened to Mr. Thief's lawyer as he explained to the judge that Mr.Thief, who lives about one block away, was simply looking for a warm place to stay when the police dogs found him. (I was, of course, checking to see how long the lawyer's nose was going to expand as he portrayed Mr. Thief as just in need of a little nap.) In fact, Mr. Thief was burgling an inhabited house; our carpenter crew was saving money and time by spending the night there. They called us to report that burglars were in the house; we reported it immediately to the MPD and drove over in three minutes to see what would happen.

Mr. Thief's lawyer never explained why or how it was that in search of warmth and safety in the pitch-black night, Mr. Thief chose to climb a 25 foot scaffold and break into our house. Wouldn't his home, one block away, have been a safer and more comfortable choice? He certainly didn't find a good place to try out in terms of warmth, as our building has no central heat yet; the plumbing work is still in progress. So there must have been another reason...

Maybe it was athletic record-seeking. Given that it was pitch black and that his own lawyer admitted that Mr. Thief was flying high on PCP while breaking in, it seemed to Mme. Magpie that the courtroom had just heard about a true athletic feat. How exciting! Surely the lawyer should have called one or more of our local sports TV channels to brag about this Olympic-quality climbing and entering event that had occurred. Perhaps his lawyer should submit this effort to the Guinness Book of Records for consideration! Let's Call it the Tallest Climb to Break and Enter while Totally Smashed on PCP. That might be a whole new category for future consideration by Mr. Thief, to occur at sites yet to be chosen other sites in the neighborhood.

Mr. Thief's lawyer also deserves recognition as someone who fully grasps the distinction between truthfulness and honesty, and consistently goes for the former, not the latter, provided he is shielded from legal repercussions. Not much shame there!

It seems that Mr. Thief has a honking-big local record of misdemeanors (breaks-ins, thievery and some more robust crimes as well - at least one felony) . As this record extends back for several decades according to the judge, maybe he has been in training for a good while. He should be getting pretty ripped and fit by now, especially considering that PCP can give its users strength much greater than a user would otherwise have. Maybe that's why climbing straight up 25 feet of scaffolding and then breaking a window and entering even though people were sleeping in the building were so easy and natural for him. Mr. Thief's lawyer did not mention that achievement. Nor did his lawyer mention even a single word about the swag bag he left, filled with stolen tools; do you suppose they were to used as a pillow? Too big and too bulky to take the place of a feather pillow, but excellent for adding more swash and buckle to his Guinness-level feat.

His lawyer did mention that he had been drug-free since February. It sounded pretty grand - three whole weeks! As Mme. Magpie served for 15 years a this city's Patient Advocate for all persons in substance abuse treatment, I was pleased – but not exactly thrilled. Knowing he had a court case coming up and that what his urine test showed would affect the judge's ruling could only have a beneficial, if temporary, effect on his potential for long-term sobriety.

But it doesn't seem that he's going to be away from the neighborhood long enough to make much of a dent in his habit. At least that is my professional experience. A more heavy-duty sentence, rather longer than those so often handed out to traffic-ticket offenders, would be more likely to bring about a conversion to sobriety. But we can all hope, can't we?! And shouldn't we, because he's going to be right back among us before the first forsythia bush blooms.

Let the neighborhood be warned, (if his history is news to you), that Mr. Thief's display of strength, pilferage and thievery can commence once again only thirty days from today. We should expect to learn of other attempts and successes when Mr. Thief gets out in thirty days, for that is all the time that he was sentenced to. He will not be allowed to enter our property at all, so he is likely to visit other neighborhood houses in search of a nearby, close-in, warm place to snuggle in, as his lawyer painted it - or to rob and loot, as this neighbor had the bad luck to underwrite. We are likely to see a lot of Mr. Thief, even before the weather gets spring-like. Do get ready. After all, justice seems to have gotten lost today. Or forgotten.

THE LAST GUN BATTLE OF STAB ALLEY NEEDS A PLAQUE

The street where I still live had a different moniker when my husband and I first moved there in 1969. While our block was officially named Corcoran Street, it was then part of the inner city, and the scene of a considerable variety of unsavory criminal activities. It was known to the local felonious set unofficially, if not in the eyes of the Post Office, as Stab Alley. Enough lawless actions were going on for it to have earned its nickname. Luckily, I was not afraid of Stab Alley. I loved its vibrancy, its gaminess and most especially, its nickname.

One early summer morning, I was minding my children – ­a toddler boy and a baby girl – when I heard sharp, popping noises. I went to investigate their source and character, carefully clutching the baby to my chest. In this still dangerous neighborhood, such a sound could mean almost anything, but my urban experience suggested a gun fight, possibly a battle of significant proportions!

My excitement mixed with a smidge of fear as I looked out my back window to check out what was happening. The action quickly became clear; the MPD was mounting a significant gun battle against The Man Who Lived Next Door and Who Was Running an Illegal Numbers Racket out of his garbage lid. Quickly, I called my husband at work and stuck my phone out the window so he could share in the full flavor of whatever was going to happen.

Until the week before the incident, I had not known why there was so much activity at that garbage can. I had just found out that this garbage lid was the recipient of a striking amount of passerby attention because it was the deposit and collection point for a large numbers operation, a pastime common to the Inner City at that time. Many of the shabby men who slipped through our alley daily, and who occasionally appeared at our back door to beg a sandwich or a glass of something cold to drink were steady customers of the Numbers Man. The police, too, had just found out.

The recipient of the police action was indignant, and clearly not of an inclination to surrender peacefully or quietly. He pulled out his own shotgun, and began to accentuate his indignation with lively shotgun bursts though his front door. And then his back door. The police responded in kind, but were apparently no better marksmen than he.

In this best of all possible worlds, no one was killed or even wounded, but when it was over, the neighborhood changed forever. The number games racket ceased to exist here, soon to be replaced by high stakes speculation in real estate. Yuppies found Corcoran and began to buy on the block. Gentrification set in inexorably and wiped Corcoran clean of its lively history.

My husband and I have now lived here longer than anyone else, and we think it is a shame for our street to have lost its former infamous nickname. The house that once lodged the numbers racket in its garbage can lid is now a quiet residence for out-of-town actors playing at the Source Theatre. To our knowledge, I am now the only person still alive who actually knows where the bullet holes of the Last Gun Battle of Stab Alley are lodged. This history deserves a plaque.