Bright Sparkly Jewels

2011-12-20T21:59:00.000-08:00

H hope you will read and even pass on my latest poem - Susan Meehan

A WISH FORTHE RESTORATION OF THE DREAM THAT IS AMERICA

Tomorrow, I will stand in quiet stillness

in this beloved land, holding the hands

of those I love. Then we will walk together,

slipping into a swelling multitude of marchers.

Our gathering will signal the start

of what must happen here

if this sacred place is to be remembered

for the glory in what it has asked of those

who sought its freedom

rather than be forgotten for what it has recklessly abandoned.

It is time for public honor to be restored

lest we forget forever the notion of America.

I am no longer willing to be frightened or deceived.

I am done with edging around dread-blackened borders

and circling in tired silence past gated lies.

I want no more seized sacrifice of precious lives

I ask that civic dignity

be entrusted to our citizens

who lay their dreams on hallowed ground,

brilliant dreams wrapped in truth and tied

tightly by persistent, wise fingers.

Our passion must be answered with respect and action.

If it is paid no heed, I dread the consequence

Let us begin with honest words and righteous deeds.

Our Words of State must ring with truth,

honesty must be inked onto our documents,

justice must be written large, and mercy not forgotten.

If we allow trust to binds us once again,

If we finally understand the importance of, the wisdom in

of out of many one,

we will have grand reason to celebrate

a new Day of Interdependence.

I am uncertain that we are ready to undertake this needed salvage

But I am certain that we must if America is to be remembered as a

Place that turned anoverarching dream into a vivid, if imperfect reality

~ By Susan Meehan (MmeMagpie), WashingtonDC , December 21, 2011

THE ULTIMATE URBAN EXPERIENCE

2011-09-14T02:37:00.000-07:00

As I approached my block late yesterday afternoon, I realized it was blocked off. So was the next street, if not the alley between the two. Police were all over the place, but the neighborhood itself seemed quieter than usual, even serene. There were few people walking down the street; if people were out, they weren't walking or even running Instead, they were talking quietly in mall group among themselves. What in the world was going on?

It was the ultimate urban experience; my own micro-neighborhood (i.e., the three vehicular pathways in my neighborhood - Corcoran Street, Que Street and 17th Street) were the subject of a threatened bomb attack, and for this reason the streets had been blocked off. It seems that some crazed persons had been shouting curse and threats that he had a bomb in his car, which he had apparently abandoned on the 1600 block of 17th Street. In a nutshell, he threatened to blow up everything that I hold dear. While I had no fear my home would be going up in flames any time soon - I calculated it was just a little too far away for that to be likely - it certainly did lend a certain piquancy to an otherwise eerily silent hometown scene.

A bombing threat certainly puts matters into a clear, if alarming perspective. It wasn't that the neighborhood had never before had threats made against it - for good reason, Corcoran Street was commonly known as Stab Alley when i first moved into the area in 1965. I have seen several gun battles, up close and personal, taking place in real time on or immediately adjacent to my block. In fact, a bomb went off at the nearby Argentinian Embassy two decades ago, that Embassy being located just across new Hampshire from the alley between Corcoran and Que - known to its inhabitants at Flat Rat Alley. The difference in character between a gunfight and a bombing, especially when one's own immediate neighborhood is the potential scene, is that of anticipation vs. reaction.

What it does best is to put into sharp outline all the reasons for and against living downtown, everything that is dear seems dearer, and everything that seems tawdry or tacky becomes tawdry beyond one's ability to bear one minute longer. Some neighbors seemed either anxious or anticipatory, and the rest seemed somehow frozen in place. No one seemed willing to accept the concept of a radically-changed neighborhood - and what could produce more change than a bomb? There were overtones of grandiosity, as people made juicy comparisons with Bomb Threats They Had Known before, or merely imagined. Possibilities were tossed around like a Soviet Safeway salad, and then subsided.

The talk finally ebbed fully when it became evident that nothing bad was really going to happen. Anticipation had deflated to mere comparison. All they had left for discussion was the results of uniting Diet Coke with Mentos candy, and that paled in comparison, at least it did until the shadows became darker and our Dupont Circle neighborhood retreated to the smartphones, the cell phones, the iPhones, iPads and other momentarily popular means of communications upon which it absolutely depends, to comment ruefully on the passing of one bright shining moment of real fear that had, for once, merely dissolved.

ON KNOWING THE CURRENT DARLING - a poem of mine

2011-08-07T14:41:00.000-07:00

I knew you when you wrote bad poetry

and didn’t know which fork to use

and wore plaid, flannel shirts

with a slide rule protruding from your pocket.

On the cusp of your currency

we met again

and rushed to share forty years of life

words didn’t come fast enough

as we sought each other’s joys, pains

and marveled at the chance to share once more

our piebald dreams.

Now your face is on every screen

and your words articulate our beliefs

Contenders for public office

proudly wield your opinions

as their implements of campaign war.

People come to me for the favor

of an introduction

desiring to share in celebrity’s hierarchy,

and so, remembering our friendship

I give them the speckled help they seek.

But you have moved on

rushing to interpret today’s breaking news and

guarded by rough crews paid to fend off the unimportant –

those whose claim is old and not for profit –

unmindful that strobe-lit fame may quickly fade.

But old friends still remember fondly

those earlier, golden times

when you wrote bad poetry

and didn’t know which fork to use.

DC Residents: Are We Subjects or Citizens? A Draft Referendum

2011-05-13T15:12:00.000-07:00

I think it is shameful that we in the District of Columbia are treated as subjects rather than as citizens.When I read in the Declaration of Independence that, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men. deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed," I strongly question the assumption that we residents of the District have given our consent to be treated like subjects.

As quoted, the Declaration of Independence specifically says that government's power is just when it is derived by the consent of the governed. There is no part of the Declaration of Independence more profound, fellow Americans. Our Constitution and all our laws, everything that we hold dear as Americans, all depend on the founding block of the Declaration of Independence. Its words cannot be overlooked. If we in the District are not permitted the same rights as other citizens – and representation has to be the most basic right in a democracy – then we cannot function as full citizens. Where does it say we have given our consent to a form of government under which we struggle without voting representation?

I say we have not consented to our lack of representation, and propose that we undertake a referendum to determine whether that lack of representation is acceptable to us. Two bloody wars - the American Revolution and the Civil War - and several Constitutionalamendments should have settled the overarching question of equality once and for all. But it didn't for us. Is it acceptable to be treated as subjects, not citizens? I think not, and believe that our founding document, the Declaration of Independence speaks on our behalf to this very point. Let us hold a public and official referendum to make clear that we do not consent to being treated unequally. This would give us the basis to demand that our full measure of rights be secured - as citizens of a state. Nothing less. God bless the Declaration of Independence, for it will make our case.

If we get a referendum on consent on the 2012 ballot, it would likely considerably increase turnout at our polls, and would certainly get plenty of national media coverage. And that is what we need. One of the reasons we haven’t been able to get action on voting representation is because most citizens are utterly unaware that we don’t already have it. They are astonished to learn this is not the case, and are angry when they hear of it. (Some actually believe we pay no federal taxes, like Puerto Rico, and assume that is why we don’t have voting representation.) In any case, they are taken aback that Congress can and does change whatever it wants in our municipal budget, paid for by our hard-earned local DC tax money, no matter what we may want to do with it.They know that Congress could not do this elsewhere in the US, and agree that Congress should not be able to do this to us. Finally, other citizens get especially angry when District residents point out that THEIR elected representatives are spending an awful lot of time meddling in our affairs when their time could be better employed working on their own constituents’ problems. So there’s a lot of public education that needs to be done.

One of the most effective ways to educate the public nationwide on this issue would be through the publicity a referendum would engender. There are many ways that such a referendum could be worded; here’s a draft.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men. deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed."

Do you believe that American democracy is founded on the principles outlined above in the Declaration of Independence? Yes No

As a US citizen, do you think that in fact you are governed differently than citizens living in states? Yes No

Do you think that you are being denied rights that other citizens enjoy, like voting representation in the House of Representatives, two voting US Senators, and statehood? Yes No

Do you think that DC citizens have ever given their consent to this arrangement – that is, to NOT having voting representation in the House of Representatives, two voting US Senators and statehood? Yes No

Do you hereby give your consent to being governed without voting participation by representatives you have elected to the legislative branch of national government? Yes No

Finally, would you give up these three rights in return for the permanent elimination of federal taxes? Yes No

BRAVO TO CITY OFFICIALS ARRESTED FOR SUPPORTING DEMOCRACY

2011-04-12T04:09:00.001-07:00

Huzzah for those who got arrested! I'm sorry I couldn't be there; if they do it again, and I hope they will, I'll join them. I'm sic and tired of being a subject, not a citizen, and that's exactly what we are. Some really bad days, I feel like an indentured servant!

I've lived in Mexico City, where they had no trouble with voting representation for the Distrito Federal. Other capitals in the civilized world (such as it is), also and customarily have full representation. So the idea itself is not unheard of nor scandalous; folks, it's the denial that is.

I believe there are two kinds of provisions within the Constitution and the other founding documents (specifically the Declaration of Independence, in this case) – ones that deal with fundamental rights, and ot hers that are technical and administrative in nature. The second paragraph of the Declaration of Independence says it all, and should be honored as expressing the fundamental basis for the founding of our nation,"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed...But when a long train of abuses and usurpations invariably pursuing the same Object evinces a design to reduce the under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty to throw off such Government and to provide new guards for their future Security."

Ladies and gentlemen, the Declaration of Independence says it all. Are we to ignore its words?

I think not. We are being governed without our consent, and we are clearly suffering a long train of abuses and usurpations on the hands of those who are governing us without our consent. I think it is long overdue that we seek an orderly way to throw off such government and to provide guards for our (present and) future security. What could be more fundamental to the definition of democracy then that it derives its just powers from the consent of the governed? We have not been asked and we have not given our consent – that is clear and not subject to denial. Let a Federal District be set up without population, and give the rest of the District to its residents as a State! Nothing less meets the test of requiring a governing body to derive its just powers from the consent of the governed, and nothing less should be tolerated. So be it.

A Rant on Bureaucracy and Citizen Expectations; A Record Wait

2011-03-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

The western entrance to the alley behind my house has just been re-opened after having been closed since October. Yes, October. What happened, and what took them nearly a half a year to fix? Well, it seems that they managed to either find or break a leaking pipe while "fixing" the road at which the alley debouches. This was a hitherto-unknown 48" pipe. We are not talking about a tiny little pipe here, folks.

It's hard to believe that a pipe of such magnitude could be unknown to WASA. Surely, they should have known about it, given that it must be a working pipe. We know that, of course, because it was leaking. Okay, so they broke an unknown, working 48'' pipe. Not starting off well. It doesn't get better.

Why didn't they fix it right away? They said there was no money in the budget. Because this isn't exactly the first time that a hitherto-unknown pipe has been broken while a DC street is being fixed (uh oh, I used the wrong word - "fixed" doesn't seem to be the operating reality here) let's say "worked on", wouldn't they place a certain amount in the budget for, let's call them "contingencies"? Wouldn't that be good planning? I guess not.

And given that they had stalled working on it since last October, wouldn't you think that people in the community, possibly people with rear access to their dwelling places on that very alley might have noticed with some displeasure that the situation wasn't getting fixed and demanded a meeting to find out why and to call for swift action? It's a no-brainer that the surest way to encourage severel outrage on the part of an affected community is to ignore it.

In fact, more than four months after the alley was closed, a meeting finally took place and WASA's top brass came. Does it matter that the top brass didn't seem to know the area to begin with, and then compounded this error by putting up an incorrect slide which indicated that "everything" had already been done between Mass. Avenue and S Street? This writer and the rest of the audience thought so. Theoretically, "everything" would include the alley entrance, but that of course, was the reason for the meeting. The audience, wasn't pleased, as a reader might well imagine. WASA finally brought the meeting to a close by promising that it would fix the problem and re-open the alley entrance within two weeks.

At the very end of two weeks, the alley re-opened to great rejoicing. The rejoicing was destined to last only a hot moment, unfortunately.

We had been tricked once again! Within the WEEK , the very area where the alley opened onto 18th and New Hampshire is ONCE MORE is being torn up - this time for electrical conduit problems. At the meeting with WASA, the residents ask if any work by any road-ripping entity might happen any time soon that would cause the area to be torn up once again ? Of course they did. And WASA's answer - of course - was no. It took less than a week for WASA's answer to be nullified once again, and for the orange bumpers and jackhammers to reappear. They're still there.

Is there ANYONE competent out there guarding our streets? Apparently, the correct answer to this not-so-difficult question is - of course not.

I REMEMBER THE SOON-TO-BE DEMOLISHED GREAT GATSBY HOUSE WELL

2011-03-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

I was so sorry to read that the Great Gatsby House in Sands Point, Long Island, is going to be torn down. You see, I know that house well. I grew up in the Village of Sands Point, a child of the 40s and 50s there. At that time, Sands Point was dotted with enormous older mansions, some of which were even then closed , due to the cost of heating and the spiraling rise of real estate values.

As kids, we used to rise our bikes down the many bridle paths that crisscrossed the woods behind the mansions. We would find an unlocked window, climb in and play Hide and Go Seek. We would post one child to latch out for police cars. If he spotted any, his job was to shout, "Cheese it, the cops!" We would dash to our bikes and pedal swiftly down the bridle paths into the woods, where a police car couldn't follow I didn't care that if the police had caught up with us, my father – who was both the Mayor of Sands Point and as a result also the Police Chief – would certainly have been notified, and all hell would have broken loose at home. We had such fun, it was worth the risk! In fact, we were respectful of the Gatsby mansion and the other mansions we played Hide and Go Seek in. No trash and no damage. Only memories.

I can't imagine today that children would be given the hours of unrestricted freedom that we enjoyed and considered to be our right as kids. It is a great shame that all these links to a storied past are being destroyed.. (Too bad Jackie Kennedy isn't with us today to lead a push to save them. For the most part, the old mansions remain only in the memories of people my age and older, and we are getting fewer, of course. Soon there will be no physical signs that these glorious buildings ever existed and that glamorous parties once took place there.) Only the book will remain, unfortunately

That long-gone life is so different from the life I have lived for many years in DC that it seems entirely alien. Tonight, my son-in-law, an architect in the US Navy, has been ordered to return to Cairo to restart work to expand a US Navy-supported research hospital on tropical diseases. He will leave behind my 5-month old granddaughter and his wife, my daughter Alisoun. Now that's today's reality!

2011-02-22T19:18:00.000-08:00

I want to report that "Mr. Thief" pleaded guilty today to "unlawful entry" at 4:30 AM one early morning in December into a house the Meehan family has been renovating in the Mt. Vernon Square area . He and an accomplice were placing our expensive carpenter tools in a bag when the police dogs found Mr. Thief hiding - his accomplice managed to get away.

I listened to Mr. Thief's lawyer as he explained to the judge that Mr.Thief, who lives about one block away, was simply looking for a warm place to stay when the police dogs found him. (I was, of course, checking to see how long the lawyer's nose was going to expand as he portrayed Mr. Thief as just in need of a little nap.) In fact, Mr. Thief was burgling an inhabited house; our carpenter crew was saving money and time by spending the night there. They called us to report that burglars were in the house; we reported it immediately to the MPD and drove over in three minutes to see what would happen.

Mr. Thief's lawyer never explained why or how it was that in search of warmth and safety in the pitch-black night, Mr. Thief chose to climb a 25 foot scaffold and break into our house. Wouldn't his home, one block away, have been a safer and more comfortable choice? He certainly didn't find a good place to try out in terms of warmth, as our building has no central heat yet; the plumbing work is still in progress. So there must have been another reason...

Maybe it was athletic record-seeking. Given that it was pitch black and that his own lawyer admitted that Mr. Thief was flying high on PCP while breaking in, it seemed to Mme. Magpie that the courtroom had just heard about a true athletic feat. How exciting! Surely the lawyer should have called one or more of our local sports TV channels to brag about this Olympic-quality climbing and entering event that had occurred. Perhaps his lawyer should submit this effort to the Guinness Book of Records for consideration! Let's Call it the Tallest Climb to Break and Enter while Totally Smashed on PCP. That might be a whole new category for future consideration by Mr. Thief, to occur at sites yet to be chosen other sites in the neighborhood.

Mr. Thief's lawyer also deserves recognition as someone who fully grasps the distinction between truthfulness and honesty, and consistently goes for the former, not the latter, provided he is shielded from legal repercussions. Not much shame there!

It seems that Mr. Thief has a honking-big local record of misdemeanors (breaks-ins, thievery and some more robust crimes as well - at least one felony) . As this record extends back for several decades according to the judge, maybe he has been in training for a good while. He should be getting pretty ripped and fit by now, especially considering that PCP can give its users strength much greater than a user would otherwise have. Maybe that's why climbing straight up 25 feet of scaffolding and then breaking a window and entering even though people were sleeping in the building were so easy and natural for him. Mr. Thief's lawyer did not mention that achievement. Nor did his lawyer mention even a single word about the swag bag he left, filled with stolen tools; do you suppose they were to used as a pillow? Too big and too bulky to take the place of a feather pillow, but excellent for adding more swash and buckle to his Guinness-level feat.

His lawyer did mention that he had been drug-free since February. It sounded pretty grand - three whole weeks! As Mme. Magpie served for 15 years a this city's Patient Advocate for all persons in substance abuse treatment, I was pleased – but not exactly thrilled. Knowing he had a court case coming up and that what his urine test showed would affect the judge's ruling could only have a beneficial, if temporary, effect on his potential for long-term sobriety.

But it doesn't seem that he's going to be away from the neighborhood long enough to make much of a dent in his habit. At least that is my professional experience. A more heavy-duty sentence, rather longer than those so often handed out to traffic-ticket offenders, would be more likely to bring about a conversion to sobriety. But we can all hope, can't we?! And shouldn't we, because he's going to be right back among us before the first forsythia bush blooms.

Let the neighborhood be warned, (if his history is news to you), that Mr. Thief's display of strength, pilferage and thievery can commence once again only thirty days from today. We should expect to learn of other attempts and successes when Mr. Thief gets out in thirty days, for that is all the time that he was sentenced to. He will not be allowed to enter our property at all, so he is likely to visit other neighborhood houses in search of a nearby, close-in, warm place to snuggle in, as his lawyer painted it - or to rob and loot, as this neighbor had the bad luck to underwrite. We are likely to see a lot of Mr. Thief, even before the weather gets spring-like. Do get ready. After all, justice seems to have gotten lost today. Or forgotten.

THE LAST GUN BATTLE OF STAB ALLEY NEEDS A PLAQUE

2010-10-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

The street where I still live had a different moniker when my husband and I first moved there in 1969. While our block was officially named Corcoran Street, it was then part of the inner city, and the scene of a considerable variety of unsavory criminal activities. It was known to the local felonious set unofficially, if not in the eyes of the Post Office, as Stab Alley. Enough lawless actions were going on for it to have earned its nickname. Luckily, I was not afraid of Stab Alley. I loved its vibrancy, its gaminess and most especially, its nickname.

One early summer morning, I was minding my children – a toddler boy and a baby girl – when I heard sharp, popping noises. I went to investigate their source and character, carefully clutching the baby to my chest. In this still dangerous neighborhood, such a sound could mean almost anything, but my urban experience suggested a gun fight, possibly a battle of significant proportions!

My excitement mixed with a smidge of fear as I looked out my back window to check out what was happening. The action quickly became clear; the MPD was mounting a significant gun battle against The Man Who Lived Next Door and Who Was Running an Illegal Numbers Racket out of his garbage lid. Quickly, I called my husband at work and stuck my phone out the window so he could share in the full flavor of whatever was going to happen.

Until the week before the incident, I had not known why there was so much activity at that garbage can. I had just found out that this garbage lid was the recipient of a striking amount of passerby attention because it was the deposit and collection point for a large numbers operation, a pastime common to the Inner City at that time. Many of the shabby men who slipped through our alley daily, and who occasionally appeared at our back door to beg a sandwich or a glass of something cold to drink were steady customers of the Numbers Man. The police, too, had just found out.

The recipient of the police action was indignant, and clearly not of an inclination to surrender peacefully or quietly. He pulled out his own shotgun, and began to accentuate his indignation with lively shotgun bursts though his front door. And then his back door. The police responded in kind, but were apparently no better marksmen than he.

In this best of all possible worlds, no one was killed or even wounded, but when it was over, the neighborhood changed forever. The number games racket ceased to exist here, soon to be replaced by high stakes speculation in real estate. Yuppies found Corcoran and began to buy on the block. Gentrification set in inexorably and wiped Corcoran clean of its lively history.

My husband and I have now lived here longer than anyone else, and we think it is a shame for our street to have lost its former infamous nickname. The house that once lodged the numbers racket in its garbage can lid is now a quiet residence for out-of-town actors playing at the Source Theatre. To our knowledge, I am now the only person still alive who actually knows where the bullet holes of the Last Gun Battle of Stab Alley are lodged. This history deserves a plaque.

All ANCs Should Hold Sidewalk Shoveling Forums

2010-02-17T10:18:00.000-08:00

Let's face it - the regs on the books regarding sidewalk snow removal are irrelevant and unenforceable. We need a whole new approach. The City isn't going to take care of this matter, so let's bring it to a level where something worthwhile could actually get done. ANC-based neighborhood forums on how to help ourselves would go a long way to helping Washingtonians dig out after future snowfalls. The ANCs are well-set up to handle this kind of thing and the size of area of concern is about the right size, too. As a former ANC Commissioner myself, I know that the community needs some serious attention to be paid to this important issue.

What we have traditionally done, and what doesn’t work well, is to try to go it alone. As it is now, each new snowfall is a new event, unrelated to any other - no cooperation, no memory. Not good. Each snowstorm comes as a big surprise to us, and we think that we'll handle it by ourselves and as we see fit. That really is a lousy approach and needs to change! Everyone who lives or works here has a longterm interest in making sure that sidewalk snow removal is handled efficiently and speedily. City government, local residents, business and community groups, property owners, tenants and lessees, everyone has a mutual interest and need to keep sidewalks clear. It seems hardly necessary to have to point out this mutuality of interest, but taking the next step – to develop actions plans together that could address these mutual needs on a block-by-block basis for an entire winter snow season – can hardly be over-supported.

Now that Snowmageddon has gotten stale and dirty, (even if it hasn’t yet disappeared), but before we've forgotten about it, it’s time to take a look at ways we could more easily make it through any further blizzards Mother Nature (an oxymoron if there ever was one!) may choose to hurl in our path. Individualists that we Americans are, we have not made significant use of available neighborhood-based group activities in the face of horrendous weather. This has left the politicians free to respond fairly ineptly without much in the way of repercussion. Surely that alone must leave us unsatisfied! Nor can we be entirely satisfied with how homeowners, lessees and tenants, in residential and commercial areas, have responded. While some responded heroically, others did nothing, certain that they would not be penalized. Because what seems fair in terms of shoveling has varied so much and has required little if any joint effort, sidewalk cleaning responses have in too many cases been ineffective and even infuriating.

We can do better, folks. We can organize, and we can plan. Washingtonians are good at that. It may be a first time we've ever made ANC-wide, season-long plans for dealing with winter weather, but it is long overdue. We can come up with many better ways to manage than what we have been doing until now.

NOTE: Our plans need to cover an entire winter season. Let’s accept once and for all that snow, ice, having to shovel and dig ourselves out cannot be counted on happening only once a year. If we could count on that, perhaps we could get away without a solid plan, but we still would be a lot more uncomfortable than we need to be.

To handle winter well, we have to be ready to respond at planned levels over an entire winter season. Our plan needs to be flexible enough to handle a range of winters, whether it be a warmish winter with only one big storm or a winter that keeps pounding us. Let’s start right now, because winter isn’t over yet by any means.

SHOVELING NEEDS AND SERVICES – FOR THE COMMUNITY, FOR INDIVIDUALS. FOR THE WHOLE WINTER

ANCs need to work at developing local plans to provide, over an entire winter season, locally-owned equipment and locally-staffed shoveling services on a timely and cost-effective basis to both businesses and residents. These cooperative shoveling agreements will need to cover an entire winter season. This would go far to make snowfalls less hazardous. It's overdue for business and community organizations of all kinds to start working together on a season-long snow plan.

Good planning starts asking the right questions. Here are a couple of general questions that need to be raised, as plans are being developed, followed by some more specific ones.

GENERAL QUESTIONS:

What should the city do and what should we be doing in terms of creating pedestrian pathways? We know that there are certain actions for which the City does bear responsibility. They include

• Cleaning up the sidewalks in front of its own property

• taking care of sidewalks at street intersections

• plowing entrances to alleys in such a way that they can be crossed by pedestrians

• cleaning sidewalks when property owners or lessees or persons in charge, don’t do itl (Hell will freeze over before this happens, of course!)

According to City Code, property owners,tenants, lessees and “persons in charge” (i.e., whoever is “in control” of the property) are equally responsible for cleaning sidewalks and taking care of hazardous tree conditions within 8 sunlit hours of the ceasing of a snow fall. it’s that simple. Practically speaking that means – at the absolute latest – no later than sundown two days after a late day snowfall. Or is it really so simple? How do we get more cooperation when those “persons in control” don’t do what they’re supposed to do?

•What are reasonable expectations of the business and residential communities in terms of speediness and thoroughness of shoveling? Leaving aside the City Code, what needs to be done, by whom, how well and how quickly? Can we work this out for the entire winter season?

•What can and should residential areas consider to be their responsibility, and equally importantly, what can and should commercial areas consider to be their responsibility? Are these levels of responsibility the same, and if not, how do they differ? Does responsibility stay at a constant level, or does it vary as time elapses after a snowfall? When and how can we be satisfied with what we have done, and what could we do better next time?

• Who needs shoveling help and can’t afford to do it? Who or what organization can take the lead job of identifying such people? What are fair criteria for getting placed on such a list, How will we reach them to let them know that help is available? One we have such a list, what will the ANCs do to get those who need help the help they need? And how will we make the help safe for those doing the work, ans well as for those receiving the aid?

•Can a useful list of critical sidewalks be developed? How would this be done fairly? If you made such a list, how would it be used? ? How do we want to handle snow shoveling of critical sidewalks - do we make others wait while we get the critical ones cleaned first?

Some specific questions to think about in developing a plan could include:

• Are there any existing plans for cooperative sidewalk snow shoveling? Do any local business organizations have an overall snow plan? If so, what is it? What does it include and what does it leave out - for instance, have any businesses united to buy shoveling services?

• Are there any similar plans in place in residential areas? What’s out there? Would the ANC be willing to do a survey to find this out?

• How can the needs of persons with disabilities be handled fairly and adequately? (This has been an entirely unaddressed area, and deserves recognition as a real problem; persons in wheelchairs or with crutches, for example, are pretty much totally confined inside, as sidewalks are seldom shoveled widely enough to enable them to emerge safely or even at all.)

• Where can we find reliable and reasonably-priced, locally-available shoveling services? How do we find this out? What local community-based organizations can provide help, and how can we make use of their services?

•is anybody willing to share (or loan or rent) existing equipment? Is there any local private or public organization that could share its existing equipment on an as-needed basis? If so, could a formalized and systematic arrangement be developed? Is there some place where people could donate and borrow shoveling equipment? What would the cost of warehousing and stockpiling be, and what about bonding and insurance? Would these be needed,and if so, would they be prohibitive?

• What’s a fair price for digging out sidewalks? Should it vary depending on terrain and size, age, weight and iciness of the snow, the amount of usage that sidewalk gets, or only by the ability of its owners/ lessees to pay? At what point should the sweeper get paid?

• Would the local business community be willing to go in together on buying snow-blowing equipment, paying to hire some kind of service to take care of sidewalks for an entire winter season, or organizing employees to jointly shovel? is a plan to buy snow-blowing equipment realistic? Would business areas be receptive to doing this? Would community-based organizations be willing to consider this as well for use in residential areas?

• What are the local sources for snow-clearing materials? Where do residents and businesses buy their snow-clearing needs? Could these businesses be asked to get together to provide a plan that would have enough assets to cover the winter? It's not easy to shovel when the hardware store runs out of shovels within a day, and doesn't re-supply quickly.

• How can alleys be made more accessible, given that a wall of snow engendered by a plow is a terrible setback to car owners? Is there some way to flatten the snow in the alley without making these walls?

• How do we handle dog poop when trash collection has essentially ceased? Is it fair for homeowners to find little blue bags or even worse, unbagged poop thrown onto their shoveled snow banks? That has been happening, and it just isn’t acceptable behavior.

BRINGING THE ISSUE TO THE PUBLIC

While only the District Government can issue a fine for non-shoveled sidewalks, and most likely will not do so, there are other ways of making an effective protest.One of the most galvanizing tools is the threat of public shame, or conversely the pleasure of public approval. When businesses were made aware that if they didn’t make a real effort to shovel that their lack of effort would be written up and published on the web, they hopped to it quickly and effectively. They didn’t want their lack of effort made public, at all, and quickly took care of the problem.

Praise is just as effective a tool, and businesses that did a good job of cleaning up were cited positively on the Web. Those businesses swiftly made this information public. Moral? A carrot and a stick both have their place, especially when the results are certain to be made public.

FINAL THOUGHTS

If we can organize quickly and highly effectively for an enormous snowball fight, surely we can use the same communications methods to help us deal with more seriously needed forms of labor – digging ourselves, our neighbors, our communities and businesses out of snow on an ongoing basis throughout the winter. Let’s give it a try. If we succeed, we’ll be much better prepared to develop and carry out plans on how the community can best react should there at some time be a serious incident involving danger to our homes or the city as a whole. Living in the District, we know it is wise to be prepared. Shovel away, fellow citizens!

Getting Caught Up: First; SNOW REGS –First and last word

2010-02-11T04:05:00.000-08:00

Given that snow removal is just about all that anyone is talking about these days, Mme. Magpie thought you might make good use of her thoughts on how the regs do or do not work in actuality, and accompanied by the ACTUAL CODE ITSELF. That should end some arguments,!
OVERALL REQUIREMENTS – . DC Code requires that sidewalks be cleaned within eight hours of the end of a snowfall. It doesn’t care who does it – it simply requires that the job to be taken care of, quickly and safely. It hopes you will want to do the right thing. And if you don’t, it will do the job and sue you.
Of course, the certainty of disapproval and anger by neighbors forced to make use of uncleared and dangerous sidewalks ought to be an even greater spur to doing the right thing than the failure to adhere to city code. And whether the City is going to clear and sue if you don’t do the job is unclear, unspecified – and unsupported in city history. At least, on paper, it has a requirement to do so.
RESPONSIBILITY - Who is responsible for the cleaning? The city’s broom sweeps wide here (pun, pun) It does not limit this requirement to owners; tenants, occupants, lessees or even “otherwise” are all included in this requirement. The key words are “in charge or in control” The specific language reads as follows: (The words below in bold are ones which are defined in the code.)
DC ST § 9-601 (Snow) Removal from sidewalks by owner or occupant of abutting property.
It shall be the duty of every person, partnership, corporation, joint-stock company, or syndicate in charge or control of any building or lot of land within the fire limits of the District of Columbia, fronting or abutting on a paved sidewalk, whether as owner, tenant, occupant, lessee, or otherwise, within the first 8 hours of daylight after the ceasing to fall of any snow or sleet, to remove and clear away, or cause to be removed and cleared away, such snow or sleet from so much of said sidewalk as is in front of or abuts on said building or lot of land.

ALTERNATIVES - What if you are facing fifty feet of solid ice because you waited too long and it is just too much and too dangerous? Are there any alternatives? Yes, there are – at least temporarily. If you can’t remove it because of ” hardening”, you still have to make it reasonably safe for travel. You will have to put out sand or ashes within eight hours, and then clean up as soon as possible. The specific language reads as follows: (The words in bold are defined in the code.)
DC ST § 9-604. Temporary use of sand and ashes.
In case the snow, sleet, and ice cannot be removed from so much of the paved sidewalks within the fire limits of the District of Columbia as front upon or abut such buildings or lots of land as are not owned or held by lease by the District of Columbia or the United States without injury to said sidewalks, because of the hardening thereof, the person, partnership, corporation, joint-stock company, or syndicate in charge or control of such buildings or lots of land, whether as owner, tenant, occupant, lessee, or otherwise, shall, within the first 8 hours of daylight after the same has formed, make reasonably safe for travel, or cause to be made reasonably safe for travel, by the sprinkling of sand or ashes thereon, said sidewalks, and shall, as soon thereafter as the weather shall permit, thoroughly clean said sidewalks.

IF YOU DON’T CLEAN, WILL THE CITY? - It says it will. The City has the duty of removing snow if those in charge or control don’t do it. The Code doesn’t say what part of the City Government will be responsible for identifying, reporting, ranking or cleaning untouched sidewalks, but DDOT seems like the logical agency. (Perhaps ANCs could be asked to give the city some help in identifying and ranking critical neighborhood paths. ) The specific language reads as follows: (The words below in bold are ones defined in the code.)
DC ST § 9-605 Failure of owner or occupant to remove--Removal by Mayor.
In the event of the failure of any person, partnership, corporation, joint-stock company, or syndicate to remove or cause to be removed such snow or ice from the saidsidewalks, or to make the same reasonably safe for travel, or cause the same to be made reasonably safe for travel, as hereinbefore provided, it shall be the duty of the Mayor of the District of Columbia, as soon as practicable after the expiration of the time herein provided for the removal thereof, or for the making of the saidsidewalks reasonably safe for travel, to cause the snow and ice in front of such building or lot of land to be removed or to cause the same to be made reasonably safe, as hereinbefore directed to be done by such person, partnership, corporation, joint-stock company, or syndicate in charge or control of such building or lot of land, and the amount of the expense of such removal or such work of making the said sidewalksreasonably safe for travel, shall in each instance be ascertained and certified by the said Mayor to the Corporation Counsel of the District of Columbia.
CONSEQUENCES – If the City does end up cleaning up the mess, the code says it will sue the owner or occupant for the cost and add a $25 penalty.
Not one of the world’s more terrifying penalties, and who knows if the city will actually do any of this? Probably nothing will happen if no cleaning is done – unless someone falls and is badly hurt after the eight hours has passed. And bad publicity ensues. Then it just might. It’s better to do the right thing to begin with. The specific language on consequences reads as follows:
DC ST § 9-606. Failure of owner or occupant to remove - Suit to recover cost.
The Corporation Counsel is hereby directed and authorized to sue for and recover from such person, partnership, corporation, joint-stock company, or syndicate, the amount of such expense in the name of the District of Columbia, together with a penalty not exceeding $25 for each offense, with costs, and when so recovered the amount shall be deposited to the credit of the District of Columbia.

TWO AMAZING BUT TRUE DC TURKEY STORIES

2009-11-25T05:31:00.000-08:00

FIRST STORY: THREE TURKEYS - ONE HOLIDAY?

One little, two little, three little turkeys. except that they were great big turkeys, and each one became the family turkey in succession, three turkeys in 24 hours. How did this wretched excess happen?

The first turkey was bought the night before the day before Thanksgiving, in a late-night splurge at the Social Safeway. Because we were having so many guests, we needed a 24 lb. turkey, and the Social Safeway in Georgetown seemed like the likeliest spot to snag a fresh one. Bingo! The turkey and all the trimmings filled every inch of free space in the car. We were so tired after all the purchasing that emptying it late at night was a chore we were all barely capable of organizing. Somehow we managed to empty the car of everything – except the turkey itself. The turkey spent the night in the car.

Horrors! The Turkey Institute had done a fine job of prosyletizing everyone against leaving out the bird. I called their Turkey Hotline reluctantly, dialing with trembling finger. Sure enough, they managed to convince me that I should throw out that fine bird, that I would be endangering a large number of guests as a result. Never mind that the weather was cold and the possibility of poisoning them was quite remote. They told me it had to go, so out it went. Turkey Number One bit the dust!

Now this was the day before Thanksgiving, and very large turkeys were beginning to be difficult to find. Not to worry. I worked not far from Hechinger Mall, where one of the biggest Safeways in the District was located. On my lunch hour, I drove straight to Hechinger Mall and snagged the last remaining huge turkey. Bird Number Two was a beauty! Mindful of the need for keeping it cold, I paid for the bird and asked the staff to put it aside and keep it chilled. I would return right after work and take it home. I had a lot of work to do and arrived at Hechinger Mall well after nightfall. No problem, I’d have plenty of time to cook and get ready for the big day. But WHERE was my turkey?? I looked and looked and called for the staff. They finally were forced to confess that they must have sold it. Sold my turkey??!! The last big turkey they had had in the store? It was a horror story. No way was I going to accept any excuse. So…

I dug deep in my pocket and hauled out my secret weapon - the tool that I had been promised would take care of any serious situation. At least ones involving Safeways! I was an Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner with a tiny Safeway in my jurisdiction. After a great deal of effort on my part, I had gotten a major zoning change rammed through the city that allowed the Safeway Corporation to eliminate an unneeded parking lot and double the pitiful size of our Safeway. (Even doubled, it is still small enough to be known locally as the Soviet Safeway because it hasn’t room for more than one of anything!) The Safeway Corporation owed me big time for my successful efforts on their behalf, and showed their appreciation by giving me an Executive Safeway card. It was usually given to their upper level executives, and gave me no extra savings, but it was supposed to act as a kind of Get Out of Jail Card. It was supposed to solve Safeway problems; I put it to the test. I brought it out and passed it back and forth under their stricken noses. I announced to them that by their reselling my already-paid for turkey, solving the problem of finding me a turkey to serve over 20 guests the next day was now their problem. They had till tomorrow morning to solve the problem. I went home to a sound sleep.

Somewhere in the farthest reaches of Maryland’s Eastern Shore, a 24-lb. unfrozen turkey was still unsold. The union leader was promised double or even triple time if that turkey could be long-distance hauled to the District. At 7:00 am the next morning, when I had already started to string the celery and slice the mushrooms, Turkey No. Three arrived at my door. It was perfect – twenty-four people dined well. Moral: a bird in the hand is worth three in the bush, if those birds are hiding in the car, the supposedly safe location and the far reaches of the Eastern Shore!

SECOND STORY: THE LONG LINE, THE TURKEY, THE DOG AND THE GYPSIES

Many years ago it was possible to buy a live turkey in DC and have it executed, defeathered and rendered oven-ready while you waited. Eating a freshly-killed bird was thought to be both healthier and more delicious than eating a previously rockhard frozen turkey which had to be thawed (usually in the bathtub) for several days before cooking. Far fewer people were vegans or even vegetarians in those bygone days, and a really fresh turkey was considered to be the epitome of a gourmet approach to cooking a bird, especially a Thanksgiving bird.

The result was a huge line the day or two before Thanksgiving. People would wait for hours for their bird. On this day before Thanksgiving a good three decades ago, I found myself in such a line. It is quite common for strangers who are stuck in what seems to be a permanent line, to start talking to each other to pass the time and eventually bond together. This is exactly what happened that morning. We found each other congenial as well as slightly demented from the wait. Stories were passed around, judgments were made on public events, politicians and musicians past and present, and anything that could be dredged up to help pass time during the long wait became fair game.

Now fair game is precisely the right word. It was hard not to notice that a few of the butcher’s stock in trade were small birds strutting around outside amongst the persons in line. They pecked away at invisible goodies in the hard, rocky soil, quite unaware of their impending doom. Probably the butchers allowed them a small period of freedom as they couldn’t get away, having had their wings cut as chicks to deter flight. Their potential for fine dining was gratefully commented upon by the waiters-in-line, who had nothing better to do with their time as they waited.

Now as it happened, the potential purchasers were not the only assessors of the little birds walking around. A tough old mutt lurking nearby seemed also to be sizing them up. The dog was sufficiently dirtyy and fierce-looking that it was assumed to be on the loose and without an owner. It looked hungry. Eventually, specific hypotheses began to develop around the question of whether the dog might have an eye out for a free dinner, as it seemed to be hanging around for some dinner-related purpose. The waiters began to hope for the possibility of a genuinely time-passing event. Having nothing better to do, and slightly crazed from the hours in line, they began to encourage the mutt. The mongrel was evaluated and positively rated for adequacy of size, potential speed and sufficient nerve to carry it off. Bets started to be laid whether or not the dog would have the nerve or capacity to grab a bird. To assist the game, the waiters parted just enough to give the hardened old dog enough space to do the evil deed. The dog looked up at us, scarcely believing that it was being encouraged to abscond with a bird. Go for it, the waiters cried, and go for it the mutt did. It made a quick dash, grabbed the bird by the neck and threw it over its shoulder and took off at top speed to the wild applause of those who had bet that he would make the attempt.

What I learned only later was that the dog was the prize valuable of a band of gypsies camping nearby. The dog had been trained to provide them with a free dinner upon command, and did so regularly. It took the waiters, however, to turn his depredations into a genuine, DC sporting event.

Some terrific music we've heard lately - Tango, Puccini and Antiphonal concerts

2009-11-18T04:14:00.000-08:00

Lately, we've attended some terrific musical productions. Mme. Magpie hopes you might enjoy a quick review of them.

1. Quintango at the Gala Theatre. This one was a real surprise! We had met several members of Quintango at a Day of the Dead party recently, and they told us about the show. We decided to go, not knowing exactly what to expect. This chamber ensemble is thoroughly professional musically, and fully deserves to be compared in its performance to serious string quartets - the quality was far higher than we expected. In fact, the small ensemble - piano, bass, 2 violins and cello - could hold its own against any of the serious groups in this city. The pianist was sublime in his technique – way past that showy 19th C. crowdpleaser, Louis Moreau Gottschalk, and that says a lot. The addition of two other instrumentalists for a few pieces - a bandurion player and a drummer - were welcome, but actually not critical; Quintango had enough going for it that their absence in much of the program made little if any difference. The program was greatly enhanced by the co-performance of two sublimely talented Tango dancers - their credentials were first-rate, as were their technique and sensitivity to the music to which they danced. Check out Quintango's website - if you like Tango and want to hear it as an artform, Quintago is the group for you. Yummy!

2. Puccini. This was a Washington Chorus production, featuring a substantial orchestra (including four bass fiddles!) the huge chorus that is their trademark, an extremely well-balanced group of soloists, and some of the most hummable music that has ever been sung. It is not so common to have a group of soloists who were as evenly talented as this group was. Almost any of them could have slipped into one of the other roles written for the same voice without any loss of smoothness or artistic production. There wasn't a slacker among them, and the voice quality was uniformly excellent. Some fine acting as well! The performance was sparkling, with lots of arias that persons with any interest in opera would certainly know. The audience left the Kennedy Center positively fizzing with delight.

3. Antiphonal Music through the Ages. This concert, from the Washington Choral Arts Society, was a hands-down winner. Antiphonal music was a new experience for Madame Magpie's husband, if not for her - a former member of the Boston Pro Music Antiqua - and both of us had a rousing good time. Antiphonal music, both choral and brass instrument-oriented, is really exciting stuff. Fundamentally, the music is split up into at least two groups and can go up to as many as eight choruses. Pieces may be call and response, or everyone singing the same music at the same time from different locations around the concert hall, or the music may be polyphonic - different melodies and harmonies sung at the same time from different locations, or in great massive blocks, in two or more locations. The most delightful and unusual experience was to be able to follow a phrase or theme when the chorus was divided into eight groups, with some on the stage and the rest across the first balcony completely circling the concert hall. The theme would appear on one side of the hall and rise then fall, moving around, usually clockwise until the entire concert hall had been traversed. That was great fun, indeed!

As different pieces were divided up into different sized and placed groups, there was a lot of chorus moving; it was something like seeing a living kaleidoscope in action. This was handled extraordinarily well- the logistics involved were equal to those involving the moving of armies over complicated terrain - and the program used the time necessary for carrying out the chorus redeployments exceptionally well by putting on a wonderful antiphonal brass program while the choristers gracefully moved to their new location. Mme. Magpie was particularly taken with two of Praetorius' Dances from Terpsichore, but she must reveal bias in her delight, as one of the Dances was part of the musical prelude program to her wedding forty-two years ago.

An interesting sidenote to an antiphonal concert is how the conductor arranged himself so that his direction could be seen by choral - and brass - members who were not to be found in their customary straight line-of-sight locations. The conductor had to modify his usual technique in order to be seen by musicians to the right and left, as well as a whole tier higher than his head. He solved the problem by conducting from a raised podium right in the center of the concert hall itself. Very thoughtful, very clever, very successful - exactly the right words to describe the concert itself.

The Gabrieli, Tallis and Biebl pieces were the choral highlights of the concert. The Gabrielis were delicious, over the top swooning crashes of pure, sensual sound (if those two adjectives can both refer to the same sense at the same time!). Thomas Tallis is one of the stars of the brilliant Tudor musical scene, and his piece is profound in its meaning as well as its musicality; its deep religious pull is gripping, the words and music combining and turning in a setting that offers sublime musicality. The little Biebl piece was a true charmer. Its composer was unknown to me but won me over instantly because of its sweetness and melodic charm. The Martin piece seemed drier, and was considerably lengthier - not that it was boring, but it wasn't in the same class. The fine Benjamin Britten piece had been written when the composer was very young, but it shone in its beauty like the polished piece it is. Genius show itself early in Britten's case!

Not every hall can accommodate antiphonal productions, but this was a true joy to listen to. If you have access to home theater surround sound, so get CDs of the program and give yourself a spectacular treat!

DUPONT CIRCLE CAT BURGLAR CAUGHT - AT LAST!

2009-11-11T21:09:00.000-08:00

BREAKING NEWS! Mme. Magpie could not have been happier. At the Dupont Circle ANC Meeting tonight, the MPD announced that they had FINALLY caught the notorious Dupont Circle cat burglar, and that he was confessing his crimes with great relish!

After he had been arrested, he was driven around town and amused himself by picking out home after home into which he had broken. The MPD seemed somewhat stunned with the breathtaking number and variety of his chimney-top entry methodology, but were definitely taking notes.

Mme. Magpie recalls his antics with a certain 'je ne sais quoi", because her nest had been a possible break-in site not long ago. One 4:00 am, she heard a strange noise, and asked her hubby if he had also heard it. When he said yes, she got up to investigate. Lo! and Behold! When she carefully and slowly opened her interior front hall door, she found that it was entirely filled with blue-uniformed MPD officers. She was appalled, of course – because she had on her second-best nightie rather than her Gloria Swanson, Marilyn Monroe special. The shmata didn't even come with a bathrobe, much less any sequins or rhinestones to set off Mme. Magpie's pure white hair! She complained to the Police Powers that be, and they just laughed at her.

It seems that Mme. Magpie's tenant had heard a sound on the roof and called in the MPD, which VERY much wanted to catch said burglar. The tenant didn't call Mme. Magpie, as it was, after all, 4:00 am. So it was quite a shock for Mme. Magpie to find her very own front hall had ben taken over by the MPD hoping that this call was going to be the magic, winning bell. Unfortunately, the sound most probably came from an overachieving raccoon who had been spotted, in a previous incident, shinnying down her rain spout. Such nerve!

This time, Good Karma has prevailed, and the Cat Burglar of Dupont Circle has finally been apprehended. To put it gently, the MPD is breathing a collective sigh of relief; after all a half a year without a Victory was serious bad, not only on the MPD's overtime budget, but on its morale – to say nothing of the morale of Dupont Circlers who came home to find their ceiling stomped in or the skylight open and the little goodies that make life worthwhile all gone. . .

Happy days are here again, folks! Mme. Magpie is imagining a brass band marching this way in celebration, but will settle for the drummers of Dupont Circle. Having solved this problem, let's bring on something much harder – how to find some good mayoral candidates, or maybe how to get voting rights in Congress. Anything seems possible on a day when the Cat Burglar of Dupont Circle is finally down to his last life, which she trusts will be well-spent in a permanent suite in the slammer! .

A CRAZED DRIVER BLAZES DOWN MY BLOCK; WHAT TO DO?

2009-11-03T15:49:00.000-08:00

What do you do when some damn fool whips his turbocharged car past you, accelerating up to 60 mph (my estimate) on the block where you live?

Mme. Magpie – a past Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner - and her hubby – the current Advisory Neighborhood Commissioner of our Dupont Circle neighborhood - and a constituent were walking back from a community meeting the other night, when we were practically blown away by the undertow when a fancy foreign car went barreling past us like greased lightning, slamming on the brakes at the last possible minute at the end of the block. It was one of the worst exhibits of unsafe, risky city driving I’ve seen on our block, and I’ve lived at the same address for the past forty years.

There was no way I could let this outrage pass without notice. So I walked up to the car and called the driver on his life-threatening deed – I used no bad words, didn’t lose my temper and didn’t raise my voice. He responded with a sneer about

• how important he is (he said he was a doctor) and

• did I have any idea to whom I was talking, and

• who the hell did I think I was, anyhow, and

•how he intended to repeat his NASCAR experience ”multiple times” now that he knew where we live.

He then proceeded to unleash a full-blown diatribe, filled with unpleasant and certainly erroneous assumptions about what people who objected to his driving must be like. He swore

• that we were old geezers who disapproved of urban street life

• that we must think that everyone living here should be and act just like us, and

• that we wanted to prevent a varied, urban neighborhood.

His final, grand point was that because we lived in the city we had no right to expect people to obey traffic laws – I guess traffic laws must be strictly suburban. He told me, and I quote, “this is the city and I can do anything I want to here.” Perhaps I should be grateful that he didn’t have a Terrible Two temper tantrum on the spot. (Actually, short of lying on the ground, kicking his legs and holding his breath, that’s exactly what he was doing.)

I responded quietly, trying to explain that all I wanted was some sane driving on the block where I live, and that this was not an unreasonable expectation. At that, he stormed off in high dudgeon, disappearing into the evening crowd on 17^th Street.

I was afraid both of what further dangerous actions he might do with his car if he had (any more) alcohol in him, and I was dismayed by his threats to rerun a Grand Prix Course on Corcoran Street. And so I called the MPD.

The police responded quickly and in force. They took seriously his potential for dangerous driving as well as his threats to return and deliberately speed on the little street where I live – a short block with plenty of pedestrian traffic due to the “Soviet” Safeway on our block. Unfortunately, we didn’t know where he had gone, and after several minutes of waiting to see if he might return, the MPD slid off to check out other urban city activities. It was another night in Dodge on a street that used to be called Stab Alley.

A NEW UNITARY THEORY, BRINGING TOGETHER THE LAWS OF EVOLUTION AND PHYSICS

2009-10-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

Mme. Magpie's Theory of Evolution has been finally proven conclusively today. She is so excited that she wants to share her important advance in the Laws of Physics with you. She has long held that evolution occurs through the process of transmogrification. The changes generally occur in dark and murky locales, with the washer/drier and her clothes closet providing the principal sites for change. What occurs at these stations? Come, come, it is quite obvious! – socks and hangers interchange in a magnificent transformation. She knew this to be true, but she was seeking more proof. Today she found both the proof she needed, and she learned of a new transmogrification site– one of her many hat boxes. She carefully stores the out-of-season chapeaux in hatboxes in her closet, and, as she was performing her biannual chore of bringing out the winter hats, she came across a box in which transmogrification was in actual progress! Both hangers and socks were present, along with a missing belt of my husband's (obviously a transitional byproduct). There they were, caught in the very act! I thought I caught the sound of fading trumpets as well as a whispered word -- possibly "Eureka". It was truly an awesome experience – Do any of you have access to a Stockholm phone directory? I believe there's a few folk to whom I should be talking. . .

SQUAWKING ABOUT DC'S LACK OF FORECLOSURE AND EVICTION INFORMATION

2009-10-14T07:09:00.000-07:00

Mme. Magpie has noticed that something important seems to have been overlooked by the DC Government –information on where to get help if you live in the District and are facing foreclosure or eviction.

Mme. Magpie is shocked, shocked to discover that two of the biggest problems facing DC residents are being ignored by the DC Government. She wonders if the District Government has much of a notion about what’s important these days. Does the District Government understand the words “foreclosure” and “eviction?”

Mme. Magpie spent a lot of time looking to see what kind of advice the city had to offer online to residents facing these critical problems. She has checked the DC Government website, including the main site, the site of the Department of Housing and Community Development and the websites of each of the DC Council Members. She is more than a bit incensed to have to report that she found nothing. NADA. This is inexcusable.

If the city doesn’t think this is important, perhaps it should be answering the telephone at Mme. Magpie’s nest. Yesterday alone, two phone calls came in from or about people needing advice, people who are in grave danger of losing their homes. And that’s just one day and one residential phone at a time when hundreds, probably thousands of District residents are being foreclosed upon or evicted for being behind in the rent after having been laid off. Ironically, probably the largest pool of employee lay-offs are from the District Government itself. (Way to go, DCG – forget the needs of people you have put in that position).

It’s long past the time for the city to provide clear, simple, easy-to understand instructions about what to do if you are a homeowner about to be foreclosed upon, or if you are a DC renter about to lose your apartment because you’ve lost your job.

If the city isn’t up to providing you with that information, Mme. Magpie thought she’d better see what she could find online that offers residents accurate information on what they ought to do in such a situation. Here are a couple of websites that seem to provide just that – useful places to call for help, or useful information about sequencing what you need to be done to stave off being put out, either as a result of foreclosure or eviction.

1. HUD’s List of Local, Approved Housing Counseling Agencies

http://www.hud.gov/offices/hsg/sfh/hcc/hcs.cfm?webListAction=search&searchstate=DC

This seems to be the best list of places to go for help for homeowners and/or renters. Mme. Magpie knows almost all of these agencies, and they have been helpful over the years. The list seems pretty comprehensive, and the kinds of information available at a given agency is clearly laid out.

2. Fannie Mae’s web site

http://www.fanniemae.com/

This site has information to help both homeowners and renters in trouble. It also has useful information on forclosure/eviction avoidance scams.

3. A Foreclosure Survivor timeline – what to do when

http://foreclosuresurvivorkit.com/index.htm

This gives clear, thoughtful advice on what works best when foreclosure looms, occurs or has already taken place. It even takes into account emotional needs.

4. DC Foreclosure law summary

http://www.foreclosurelaw.org/DC_Foreclosure_Law.htm

This seems to be a pretty good review of what the law is in the District. It’s written in legal-type language – never a small word when a larger one can be used – but it does the job.

5. Tenants’ Advocacy Coalition (TENAC)

http://www.tenac.org/

(202) 628-3688 (hotline)

This all-volunteer, activist group works hard to help retain rent control and to support tenant interests and rights, and does an excellent job at it. It is the only citywide tenants’ organization, and has been active in DC for the past 15 years.

Mme. Magpie is thinking especially about the little fledglings who are being pushed out of their cosy nests and who face an uncertain future as a result. They are often the greatest sufferers in such situations. We owe it to help each other in these difficult times, especially as the colder weather is upon us. Any of the groups listed under item one or TENAC listed in item five could make good use of donations.

HOW CAN THE LAID-OFF AND THEIR FAMILIES BE HELPED?

2009-10-09T14:45:00.000-07:00

Mme. Magpie has been worrying. She is thinking, first of all, of the large numbers of persons who have been laid off. How have they been handling this very real blow to their lives? And second, she has been worrying about how their families and loved ones have been coping. As she sees it, both groups are in equal peril.

Back when she was the District’s (only) Patient Advocate for everyone in substance abuse treatment, she put together a huge list of every Twelve Step meeting in DC, by day of the week, hour and location. The idea was to ensure that when someone was ready to reach out for help, we would be able to find somewhere to go right away. The list included all the “anon” fellowship programs for family members, because their needs were as great as the fellowship programs for the addicts themselves. All were affected, all were hurting.

And, as a current volunteer with a group that provide grief assistance to families of homicide victims in DC, Mme. Magpie is aware of the depth of assistance needed for families that have suddenly had shocking news that will affect the rest of their lives.

Not only do persons who have suddenly lost their jobs need grief and psychological counseling, especially when the chances of picking up another job are so slim in this deep recession, but their families are suffering psychologically and need help as well. It is obvious to Mme. Magpie that both groups of people will need real counseling over a period of time.

Why hasn’t that need been picked up by our employers? They owe it to their employees wherever possible, especially to employees who have given long and loyal service to their employer. All employers who can afford to offer even a little counseling, should do so, and those who can but don’t should be singled out for public disdain.

Lord knows that’s true of the District Government, which shows its contradictory planning process by continuing to hire while it is firing. If it’s got enough money to keep on hiring people, it should pay for counseling and guidance programs for those whom it has just dropped from its payrolls – and their families. It can afford to do so, so why hasn’t it done it already? This lack of caring is sad, and needs to be remedied ASAP. Other large employers who are shedding jobs in the area should do the same.

Surah 5:32 of the Koran contains the oft-cited lines that “if anyone saves a life, it shall be as though he had saved the lives of all mankind”. The same Surah also goes on to exhort people of different religious traditions to “Vie, then, with one another in doing good works!” Mme. Magpie thinks that employers who have let persons go, for whatever reasons, ought to contemplate the potential catastrophic results and find some way to aid its ex-employees and their families with useful and needed counseling. Employers vying for ways to be helpful can and will be remembered as doing their best in a difficult situation. And that, if applied widely, can help save an economic universe.

WHEN WILL THE DC GOVT STOP DISSING APPLE USERS?

2009-09-30T15:46:00.000-07:00

Mme. Magpie is pissed off. She is of the Apple persuasion, and the DC Government continually and ridiculously discriminates against those of us who are Apple users. It has got to stop.

She was trying to look up the DC Code a few days ago. The DC Code is comprised of the regulations that actually govern this city, regulations based upon the laws passed by the City Council. She found the code and noticed that that it was quite out of date - how about no later than January of - tada - 2006. She was not surprised about this; she would have been more surprised if they were up to date. (Being up-to-date is not part of the DC Government's DNA.) The only enabling cookies are for three different versions of Internet Explorer and four different versions of Netscape Navigator. Nothing native for Mac users, and no open platforms, either. There are a lot of great charts - at least she ASSUMES they are great charts - that the city's technocrats put out. Many of them are totally unavailable to Mac users.

This is not an accident, folks. The Office of DC's Chief Technology Officer is fully involved in keeping DC Apfel-frei. It ha a 15 page listing of its "Technology Standards at a Glance" (stet - maybe that's a little mean, but 15 pages is hardly a glance!) It covers everything you could think of - software, hardware, operating systems, etc., etc, etc. Its sole major reference to Apple is under the heading Desktop Operating Systems. Is Madame Magpie incorrect in thinking that this reference is remarkably frosty to the Apple world? How about an arctic Zero Degrees Fahrenheit in approval level? The quote speaks for itself , "The District has standardized on Intel-based personal computers. Apple computers can only be purchased upon approval by OCTO." And perhaps Hell might need a new furnace before that approval is ever achieved.

It's not that Mme. Magpie is unaware of this rank prejudice. It isn't the first time Mme. Magpie's beloved Apple has been dissed by the District Government. Back when she was working for the District Government, she was refused permission to buy an Apple. So she brought in her own in order to avoid having to learn how to use a system she disapproves of in close to religious terms. (Her fingers don't do Windows – never have and never will.) That heresy caused her to be banned from her agency's internal LAN.

At first, Mme. Magpie was aggravated by being left out of the loop of information, but it was not long before she realized she had, in fact, been blessed! Was her agency's LAN not filled with some of the most boring bureaucratic prose known to Western civilization? It was. Did not Mme. Magpie have better things to do with her time than read poorly-written bureaucratic blather about topics of genuinely little interest? She certainly did. She set up own website at no cost, and spent the hours she would have had to devote to reading bureaucratic nonsense masquerading as trivia, and instead went about the much more fascinating business of helping people who had actually come to the District Government seeking help. A revolutionary sentiment, Mme. Magpie assures you. In fact, she managed to finagle an Apple in a grant she obtained - an Apple that she well remembers never once fell comatose due to a virus - and when she retired, she was ordered to take the Apple home with her, as the DC Government wanted to remove the Apple pollutant once and forever.

My, how the DC Government loves PCs! It knows winners when it sees them, doesn't it? I'd call OCTO a slow learner, but then no less than three OCTO employees, including OCTO's own chief were arrested this spring by the FBI. For bribery and embezzlement, no less. Apparently OCTO's Chief spent his time focusing on matters other than deciding that the Apple platform is not poisonous, a belief held today only by the DC Government. ( Mme. Magpie suspects that OCTOgenarians still wear garlic to ward off the Devil and bad humors!) The DC Government may not like or want its employees to use Apples, but it is quite another thing to extend its prejudices to the general public, ALL of whom it is supposed to be serving. Mme. Magpie wonders if DC Government employees are allowed to answer telephone calls made on iPhones . . .

THE NEW CODE OF OFFICIAL CONDUCT IS SOOO TOUGH!

2009-09-30T02:49:00.000-07:00

Folks, we’ve been hearing quite a lot lately about the DC’s new Code of Official Conduct, haven’t we?! Barely in place, and badaboom, it’s already been in a train wreck. (Sorry, METRO, I wasn’t talking about you!) Aren’t you curious to know exactly what is now required of the City Council and its staff? Don’t you wonder just a little how something like taking a bribe might be disallowed? And possibly you are curious about the penalties. The penalties, now doesn’t the idea of penalties make your mouth water? Gotta be some juicy penalties, you know – hard time, big fines, even a perp walk before cameras, all the good stuff?! Right? Wrong.

Just to help you know what actually is being regulated for the first time (we won’t go so far as to say being outlawed, actually), Mme. Magpie thought you might like to see what the Code of Official Conduct looks like. Printing the actual bills that are passed always seems to be too much effort for our local press to share with the public – they NEVER print the laws, they only comment on them – but Mme. Magpie has tracked down the actual bill and distilled the juicy parts out for your review. Or amusement, depending on your point of view. The critical parts of the new Code of Official Conduct are as follows:

(a) Councilmembers and Council staff shall maintain a high level of ethical conduct in connection with the performance of their official duties, and shall refrain from taking, ordering, or participating in any official action which would adversely affect the confidence of the public in the integrity of the District government. Council members shall strive to act solely in the public interest and not for any personal gain, or take an official action on a matter as to which he or she has a potential conflict of interest created by a personal, family, client or business interest, avoiding both actual and perceived conflicts of interest and preferential treatment.

(b) Councilmembers and Council staff shall take full responsibility for understanding and complying with the letter and spirit of all laws and regulations governing standards of conduct for District public officials, including those relating to conduct, conflict of interest, gifts, disclosures, campaign finance, political activity and freedom of information.

(c) Councilmembers and Council staff shall specifically adhere to the Council Code of Official Conduct that lists the core ethical principles that build public trust in government.

I mean, folks, this is really gutsy stuff. My favorite part is where they’re ordered “to strive to act solely in the public interest”. That really gets me in the heart strings. Could it be that taking a bribe might not be striving? Who knows? And who cares, if the Code doesn’t lay out any penalties?!

Mme. Magpie needs to fan herself – she is overcome by the excitement that breaking the Code induces. Gosh, she thought that The Wire was the last word in criminal activity – she is astonished to learn that we have REAL official crime going on right here in DC, (we never knew) and, boy! is our Code of Official Conduct on the job. What will we find out next? Can't wait! Wasn't it a member of New York's Tammany Hall who said only a century ago,"I seen my opportunities, and I took 'em!"

AT AN ACCIDENT SCENE: WHAT DID I SEE? WHAT DID I LEARN?

2009-09-28T04:56:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was present at an accident. In truth, I didn’t see it, as I wasn’t the driver, and I was crocheting. But it did happen in front of us as we were waiting at a red light, the fourth car in line. The light changed, two cars tried to occupy the same space simultaneously, and wham, bam, the two cars were badly damaged in the intersection. I learned at least four important lessons from what happened next.

We immediately pulled our car to the side of the road just as two women dragged themselves out from one of the two damaged cars. Neither was bleeding. While one seemed all right, her companion was definitely in pain. With the help of her friend, she hobbled in my direction to the side of the road, eyes closed and moaning. I started to search for my first aid kit, but I couldn’t find it during the first critical moments. We had bought a new car five months previously, and I didn’t know where my first aid kit had been relocated. I rushed over with a pillow, but she didn’t want to lie down. She was still standing up, moaning, when I heard first responder medical staff approaching.

When I finally did find the kit, the first responder medical vehicles then arriving made my small offering unneeded. It was too late to be of any medical use to the victims.

What did I learn about first aid equipment?

• Different kinds of accidents have different first-aid needs. The first aid kit wasn’t needed at this one. But a disposable blow-up pillow and disposable sheets and blankets would have been useful. Get them.

• Know where to find first aid equipment.

• Make sure that site is easily accessible, even if your car is the one that has been damaged

I also realized that if there had been intensive bleeding, I was no longer adequately-prepared to address such a situation on my own. I am a DC CERT member – that’s a national program to provide community residents with triage and emergency response training in case of some grave emergency. In fact, I have gone through the full training twice. But I realized that that training is limited in scope and depth, and needs annual repetition to competently deal with emergency situations. This is especially true if the situation could possibly potentially involve a life and death matter.

What did I learn about training?

• In all cases, remember that the first duty is to do no harm.

• Do not act on partly-remembered training.

• Realize the limits of even fully-remembered training and don't attempt more than minimal assistance in a situation when professional help will surely be coming quickly

• Retrain annually.

The third thing I learned was that I had only focused on the victims from one of the cars. I paid no attention to the people in the other involved car. I only saw one of them, a man standing by himself, and had no idea if he had been hurt. As the accident was pretty nasty, he or any of his unseen companions could well have been. Looking back, of course I should have taken the initiative and gone to check on the victim of the other car as well to see if he, or any others in his party, had been injured. Why hadn’t I? Partly because the two women had headed in my direction, while the man stood still. But also, I think I felt that his car was to blame for the accident (on what evidence, I’m not sure). That made me feel hostile, so I didn’t go and ask him how he was feeling. Upon reflection, of course that made no sense. Pain knows no boundaries of any kind, and once the accident happened, all victims were equally entitled to whatever help that I or anyone else could have given.

What did I learn about who should get help?

• Pay no attention to the question of fault – that’s someone else’s job

• Check all cars and the surrounding land for potential victims

• Make sure I give help fairly and strictly in terns of triage

Finally, as we stood by the side of the accident, my husband talked to the to the man whose car was first in line. He had had a complete view of the accident that had unfolded in front of him. My husband asked this fellow what he had seen. It was immediately clear that the best possible witness had no sense at all of what he must have seen. His description of what he thought had happened was seriously impossible, geographically, time-sequentially and physically. What he thought he had seen did not correspond in any way with either the position of the cars or the placement of the extensive damage.

What did I learn about witnesses?

• Memory is not to be trusted

• Nor is the judgment of a witness

• Looking at the clock to determine when an accident happened would be helpful.

• So would a pad of paper to take notes and make a quick sketch.

• A disposable camera can be really helpful, and possibly a dedicated emergency phone

Probably the most important thing Mme. Magpie learned from this incident is sequencing reactions to an accident. The duty of a bystander should flow as follows: The first duty is to think about how soon first responders may take to arrive and with what level of assistance. An accident in the middle of nowhere needs a different level of help than an accident at the corner of two major city streets. The next duty is figure out how much needs to be done before professional assistance arrives and how much help any training the bystander has to offer is appropriate, based on these estimates. The final duty is to act with restraint and in accordance with all the limitations noted.

Mme. Magpie hopes that this learning process will allow an injured person the opportunity to get better quickly and fully – accident-related injuries are much less fun to contemplate than bright, sparkly jewels.

Dog Park Heaven

2009-09-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

It was about time, only twenty-odd years – and by God they WERE odd years – for the Dog Park to emerge at 17th and S Streets NW. I suppose that other births have taken longer (voting representation in Congress for example), but the struggle over the future of that smallish triangle of land was titanic.

The problem was that everyone had ideas on how that precious land should be used, and the idea folk were, all of them, quite rabid on their subject. There were off-the-leash dog people, and baby/small child people, and neighbors who went to bed early, and neighbors who definitely didn't want sleeping done there, etc., etc. Everyone had graduate degrees in public speaking or lawyering or sermon delivery, everyone had taken part in college Debate Club or had preached in Hyde Park or had become skilled speakers for (or against) anarchism or Transcendental Meditation, almost everyone could outshout Ethel Merman or Rush Limbaugh. And all were willing to show off their skills. Politicians took one look at the problem and decided there was no marked advantage to be had by taking up the cudgel for one or another position, and so ran off, promises fading into nothingness as they retreated to the relative sanity of a 17th Street watering hole.

So it was a miracle that the Dog Park came into actuality. It is a classy production, and the dogs love it. They have everything they could possibly want, short of a paw-driven dog biscuit-dispensing machine. Water, a hill that soaks up dog urine, and lots of other pooches to play with. Thirty to fifty dogs can be found there in weekend prime time, swirling around to imaginary music only they can hear. Their owners look almost as ecstatic as the dogs – they get to socialize as well. Even those without dogs have something just for them, an elegant gathering spot just ouside the southwesternmost corner of the Dog Park. There, the dogless ones can congregate and chat of matters non-canine. My late Irish Wolfhound, Ború of sacred memory, would have felt he was in Heaven. But of course, he IS in Heaven now! The sophisticated dogs now enjoying the Dupont Circle Dogpark at 17th and S may view Heaven's offerings with a bit of jaundice. They've already seen the best that Washington has to offer.

It would be a fair trade - shop DC, drink DC = vote DC

2009-09-13T13:32:00.000-07:00

So I understand that the White House would like to have a Farmer's Market conveniently nearby. Perhaps Michele Obama wants to slip over to Vermont Avenue to squeeze the squashes, grip the grapes or even pinch the peaches. Well and good. Let's help her do that. But I think there should be some corresponding effort on their part, and I know just the thing...

How about some White House support for DC voting rights in exchange for the ANC's approval of the Farmer's Market? Not an unreasonable trade off, I think. If Michele wants to be The First Housewife, let her show that she's also our First Voter. This is DC's opportunity, folks – maybe our only one. So let's make the most of it!!

To get a Farmer's Market going on Vermont Avenue, so close to the White House that she could get there without having to cross any major streets, the local ANC has to give approval. Elected folks from DC at last have their votes mean something! WOW!! It may never happen again, so we better use this opportunity UP! We got 'em over the barrel for the first and probably only time in the whole century. Let's think fast, now.

Do we have veggies so lovely and so tasty we could trade them for voting rights to make us like the rest of the country, no longer just, dare I say it, ...a COLONY! There's some fine fennel oand beautiful basil at the Dupont Circle Farmers' Market, both the color of "GO 'on DC traffic lights (the ones that turn green for her whenever she comes through). How about some deeply flavored late tomatoes, precisely the same color as the red in the DC flag? That sounds pretty good to me.

Next comes the tricky part. Once we know what she REALLY wants to have for dinner AND what's fresh at her neighborhood Farmers' Market, we'll have to deny it to her until and unless she promises to give real, serious support for genuine home rule in DC! We finally have some juice, folks, and I can see voting rights coming straight our way.

Now let's take this issue to the next level, friends. If the ANC can get the White House chefs to speak up at the ANC Meeting in support of voting rights for DC, surely Congress is next! Isn't there a fine Farmer's Market right by the Natatorium just a few short blocks from the US Capitol?? For that matter, aren' t there a whole lot of watering holes right on Capitol Hill, places whose liquor licenses come up regularly before the Capitol Hill ANC? It's finally trading time, folks – veggies for votes! Beverages for ballots! Spirits for suffrage! Maybe we might start being full citizens AT LAST! We just never knew till now that we actually had tools we could use as leverage for full equality. Thank you, thank you, White house chefs! May your State Dinners ever be triumphs for DC voting rights!

Opera in the backfield - Mme Magpie went to the opera

2009-09-13T06:42:00.000-07:00

We went by METRO, and at first we though there must be some kind of sports game playing simultaneously. Surely, this many excited people wouldn't be headed out to see Barber of Seville at the Washington National Stadium. Wrong! Thousands of young people, some out on dates, some bringing their own small children, and a sprinkling of seniors were out to have FUN. Most likely it was a record holder - starting off with kids, ages 3-7! A great many kids were there, behaving themselves magnificently. What a grand way to introduce children to opera - no fuss, no having to get dressed up in uncomfortable clothes, no fear of doing something wrong, just a great time for them. We noticed that the children were having a wonderful time with all the opera's beautifully-choreographed high jinks; the enormous screen allowed all the fun little bits that escape far-away audiences - and there were plenty of high jinks, outrageous posturings and perfectly-timed horseplay that did not escape the eagle eyes of the young crowd. The size and breathtaking clarity of the screen is so great the it enables viewers to feel as if we're sitting right at the feet of the singers.

We had the ultimate retro ballgame treat - Crackerjacks! I won't share with you how long ago it was that I'd had my last box of Crackerjacks -- but time flew away as soon as that hauntingly familiar flavor wafted through my nostrils. At first it was hard to imagine combining high opera and Crackerjacks, but it soon became easy and then it seemed perfectly natural. (I have to admit, I once attended a Christmas Eve performance at the Met with a package of smelly smoked salmon tucked under my seat at my mother's request, ready to be taken home and eaten as pat of our post-opera holiday buffet). Ben's Chili Bowl repertoire is soon to be the accepted accompaniment to a night at the opera. Times have really changed!

Everyone was loose and easy at this performance, most especially including the excellent soloists. The one who shone the most brightly to this reviewer's eyes was Eric Owens, who played Don Basilio with exceptional zest. In addition to his big beautiful voice, it was clear that Owens was having a ball playing Don Basilio - with the screen so enormous, opera singers simply cannot hide their talent, or lack thereof from the audience. Owens was singing with a full rich, lustrous voice, AND he was having fun with his part. Total Winner in our book!

METRO cooperated by adding a special train at the end of the opera, and that smoothed out the return for all the riders we saw. A grand time was had by all.

Noah's Ark - let's throw a lifeline to laid-off DC Gov't employees living in DC

2009-09-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

With hundreds of DC Government employees who live in the District now out of work, has anyone in the Administration thought of offering counseling to help ease their pain? I'm a volunteer with a group that provides bereavement counseling to families of homicide victims, and I know grieving when I see it. Or hear it. The night before last, a newly-laid off worker cried her heart out to me, and I know darn well she's typical of many more. Hasn't anyone in the Administration noticed that many former DC government employees now have PTSD? There are good ways and bad ways to lay people off, regardless of how well those now-unemployed persons performed, and DC seems to have chosen one of the more unfeeling ones, including escorting people out of the buildings in which they worked as if they were suddenly criminals. I think that's barbaric, and we can and should do better.

I call upon the Houses of Worship of this city, and the other helping professions to volunteer to counsel former DC Government employees. These folk need help in bringing to closure the work life they have just left, as well as help in envisioning and planning a new work life. Right now they feel worthless and unwanted. For many of those who have lost their job, the DC Government had been their only employer, and they were in no way prepared for being fired. A little compassion goes a long way.

There are plenty of other people being laid off as well, God knows, but the DC Government folk may be the largest single group of District residents who have lost their jobs. Let's reach out a hand of caring to them. DC Government - are you willing to join in and help the people you have let go learn how to cope with unemployment and the feelings of uselessness that losing a job brings on? Houses of Worship and the helping professions - can you take on this task? If the response is positive, an emergency committee to coordinate this counseling should be set up posthaste. I'd call this program Noah's Ark, because we're all in this boat together.

A local hero remembered with a poem

2009-09-11T13:32:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of working with some wonderful folk when I was the City's Patient Advocate for everyone in drug or alcohol treatment. One of those persons, now gone, has been on my mind lately. I've been thinking about Nap "Don't Forget the Blues" Turner, magical blues musician. Not a saint, but he spent hours upon hours of his time helping addicts make it into sobriety. He knew it could be done because he had been down that path himself. Nap spent some time at St. E's, and while there ,came upon a stash of bent and dented old musical instruments. He had wanted to learn how to play an instrument for years, but never before had the opportunity. Bingo! Surely, they were a gift from God, he told me, a Heavenly indication that he ought to clean up his act. And so he did. It turns out that John Philip Sousa himself had stored these instruments at St. E's, and no one remembered about them until Nap uncovered the cache. He learned how to play and how to sing as a result of his discovery. Once cleaned up, he was not only a wonderful example of success for people who were truly struggling, he was also an important member of DC's artistic heritage. Do you remember his Saturday morning program on WPFW - The 'Bama Hour - Don't Forget the Blues"? I think he played Meet Me With Your Black Drawers On about once a month on the air - that tradition made me laugh every time. I'll never forget him coming to an office where I had just started work on a political campaign. It was my birthday, and I resented not being able to take the day off. The huge, beautiful bouquet of flowers he carried in brought sunshine to my soul. Nap was a true gentleman.

A SILLY FOR A SICK POET

Let's be silly.

An old raggedy gritty day

don't deserve no power

not even if I see you all hunched over

sneakin a peek round the door

past the corner of your eye

lookin for that last Horseman

the one with the scythe,

an you castin for one good charm

one extra-strong curse

that'll do the trick.

I know you.

Don't bother -

not needed.

Instead

let's thumb our noses

twaddle them in our ears

care away the grey, the sullen day

spit in its eye

stamp on the sidewalk's lines

and dare the bears.

Let's watch wrestlers on TV

and bet on the yellow tights -

let's play Hearts -

the one who cheats the most

wins.

Let's shout mysterious words

we just made up,

and laugh

Todays a day for tickles

nickels

pickles

wishes

fishes

romulo

rumph,

SURPRISE!

You gonna be just fine.

I wrote the poem for him at the very beginning of what proved to be a fatal illness. It made him feel better at the time - hope you enjoy it, too.

Detox has been closed - when can we expect the first death?

2009-09-10T12:11:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well! And where are addicts and drunks supposed to get emergency help now? Don't count on Detox any more, because it's been shut down. From forty to eighty persons used to be helped to detoxify themselves over a week followed by a week's stay while planning a program-assisted turnaround.

Now, only ten beds are available at P.I. - Washington, and then only for two days. I call that a housing program, not a recovery program.

So, what will happen to the folk who depended on Detox? Some of them just won't make it, I'm afraid. I think that a likely outcome is that deaths will occur that are attributable to the lack of an effective, sizable and recovery-oriented detoxification unit. Already people are showing up at the Detox site without the will or the money necessary for getting across and uptown and getting into PI - Washington. God help the poor addicts of this city. No one else, in my opinion, cares for them at all.

Who is responsible for this outrage? In my opinion, lay it at David Catania's feet. He has been after the discontinuation of direct substance abuse treatment by the District Government for a long time. And now he has gotten his way - creating misery in the process, misery for which he is responsible. His objective - contracting everything out - does not, in my opinion, meet the needs of the kind of patient APRA treated. It is classic right-wing Republican dogma to do away with as many government-run programs as possible, especially in fields like substance abuse treatment and prevention and mental health. Punishment is all addicts and alcoholics deserve, in this vindictive worldview. As a result, APRA staffers are now going through a very significant RIF, along with many others both in the Departments of Health and Mental Health. Some of the best and kindest DC Government employees I've ever known worked at APRA, and I should know because I served as APRA's Patient Advocate for 18 years before I retired. That job, too, has been eliminated, and now there's no one left looking out any longer for the needs and rights of some of this city's most vulnerable patients. And let's not trick ourselves into believing that DC taxpayers won't have to pay good money when wrongful death lawsuits are lost because of these policies. You will, oh, yes, you will! It's a sorry, crying shame

Do our veterans deserve this?

2009-09-09T13:27:00.000-07:00

Recently, my husband went and signed up for veterans benefits at the VA Hospital just opposite the Washington Hospital Center. A Vietnam vet with the medals to show it, he had heard that all vets who had served in the Vietnam theater of operations were now eligible for medical assistance, due to presumed exposure to Agent Orange. Grand! He had gotten no benefits before, so this seemed like a step in the right direction.

His positive feeling turned into a lump in the stomach when the doctor giving him a physical asked him why he had applied for benefits. My husband said it was because he had been exposed to Agent Orange and was worried about it (apparently, no less than twelve diseases are related to Agent Orange in some way). The physician looked blank and asked my husband, "What IS Agent Orange?" H wasn't kidding, folks! He really didn't know. What kind of a health system do our vets have, anyway?

The evening was perfection-moon and candidate shone

2009-09-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

It was the full moon that made it, of course. We were at a political meet-and-greet, held on the rooftop of one of the District's tallest buildings. The city stretched out in all directions, anchored east and west by the ancient silhouettes of cathedrals - Washington National Cathedral and the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception - while to the north, radio towers shot ruby light our way, and to the south the distant Airforce Memorial burst toylike against the soft evening sky. No breeze at all, the temperature as perfect as possible.

But it was the full moon that enchanted us. It glowed over us, over the candidate, holding us willing hostage to a moment of beauty. The campaign speech was modest, brief and positive; it didn't begrudge its setting. A campaign organization so smart as to arrange an outdoor function on a crystal clear evening with a full-moon backdrop is one to watch with interest. What will it do next, and what is its candidate capable of doing once in office? The evening's perfection deserves respect; Clark Ray is the candidate.